I've been toying with this question for years.
How do I get my two loves to meet in the same room?
Stop it! Whaaa? It's ok I'm not getting slydog on you. My two loves are not what you think...
...as a young lass, I went through an array of different music scenes, styles, friends and experiences. Shit I think I've nailed all musical genres at one point.
But my true love for hard, fast and loud music has stayed strong, and accommanied with that is what some might seem as a polar opposite of the typecast rock'n'roll ethos, is my love for spirituality and holistic health.
So on the one hand, I'm a tight ripped jeans and black leather jacket wearing kinda gal that listens to heavy rock and metal music and then on the other hand I'm a dinging singing bells, cleansing crystals and studying Ayurveda spiritual kinda woman.
Total opposites right?
For many years I have kept them separate. Like my dirty little secret that I was never going admit. And even the thought of sharing my love for manifestation and energetic healing with my fellow music lovers or rocking up to a buddhist meeting in leather was not.going.to.happen.EVER.
I've had countless conversations with the Coldplay and orchestral lovers who just for the life of them cannot understand why such a nice girl like myself enjoys listening to heavy "satan worshipping music". "There must be something wrong with her!"
This judgement has become almost a fad of our times. But when I share with them that this type of music fills my heart with JOY not sorrow and spreads this happy oozing energy throughout my body, maybe the penny drops? Who knows.
I posed this question to my Ayurvedic lecturer; "how is it, that some people (like myself) Love listening to heavier music at times, and why is it seen as a bad thing?" Her response was interesting. "Perhaps listening to that music helps channel the confidence, courage and anger." Touché! My eyebrows raised, and I nodded in dazed agreement.
But you know what? What I've found is that some of the most spiritual and uplifting people I have ever met in my life, have been from the music scene. My husband is one of them, he's my spiritual mentor (above Cesar Milan) and he's the singer of a punk rock band! And It's my music buddies that are a breath of fresh air. They are the - take me how I am, no bullshit, I think you're great kind of people. Oozing profound insights and spiritual teachings in their everyday convo. And that turns me on.
I don't know if it's hitting 30 or becoming more comfortable in the skin I'm in. But something has now switched, where I can air my spiritual healing laundry to everyone and still go out to gigs and not feel like I'm cheating on one of them. Because it's all intrinsically the same.
And in that last sentence I nailed the answer to my own age-long question revolving this matter. No more shall I think that if I really want to commit to being the best holistic spiritual healer I'm going to have to stop listening to Red Fang, change my name to Moonshadow and move to Fremantle. Or vice versa drink and party till I'm dead and buried by 35. There's room to be holistic in your practices, spiritually aware and still listen to Scandinavian Leather by Turbonegro on full ball. It's all about balance.
What makes you happy IS awakening, as long as it's not hurting anybody. From now on I'm forging my own path off track and I'm saying goodbye to the old Annie that lived within the confines of what I thought society expected of me.